Ep1 Find your personal WHY
Welcome to the first Episode of The Belinda Esterhammer Show, I am your host Belinda and this is a podcast about the art of winging it.
Today’s topic is finding your personal why
Two of the most common questions I get are how to start a company and where to begin when it comes to branding yourself.
My answer to those (and many other) questions is always to start with your WHY. This might ring a bell in many people’s heads and yes, Simon Sinek, the "godfather" of the WHY introduced us to the concept of WHY in his popular TED talk in 2009 and subsequently through his book Start with WHY - how great leaders inspire everyone to take action. I can highly recommend this book in case you haven’t read it.
I am not talking about the WHY in context with running an organisation and leadership today, but how you - you as an individual can find your WHY for your life, not just your job.
The WHY that I am talking about is the purpose, cause or belief that drives every one of us. It’s what makes you get out of bed every morning and it’s why you are passionate about certain things.
The world at this very moment is a weird and crazy place (I promise I will not say unprecedented and mention the c-word lol), let’s agree that times are even crazier than usual. It’s more important than ever to now know your WHY which will keep you going through the uncertainty. Knowing your WHY injects passion into your work and everyday life. This is not a formula for success but rather helps you to achieve sustainable and fulfilling success.
In this framework what comes first is who you are and what comes second is what do you do to advance who you are. What that means is that you define yourself by who you are and not what you do.
You are defined by who you are and not the things you do.
So don’t focus on the WHAT when you are defining your identity and WHY. For example instead of saying “I am someone who can run 20km” say “I run to unwind and challenge myself and I do 20km when I have the time to enjoy it.”
This difference between the WHAT and WHY is important and so powerful - it’s the difference between giving up and going after your goals.
Your “Why” is a statement of purpose that describes why you do the work you do and why you live the lifestyle you do.
It is…
your calling.
your mission.
a vision of your life and work.
the thread in your career story.
your source of motivation.
the reference point for all your decisions and actions.
defining who you are and what makes you productive.
the reason for your life’s work.
If you have no idea what your WHY is right now, you’re not going to magically discover it within the next 10 minutes with me - I wish it would be that easy! Usually it takes months or years. So please take a deep breath and don’t stress yourself - finding your WHY is a process. But hey, there’s no better time to start looking for it than now!
When it comes to finding your personal WHY I love this exercise from Simon Sinek:
Think of a close and dear friend - but not your partner, spouse or family and relative. Think of this friend of yours that you could call in the middle of the night if you need anything and they would take the call (if their phone is not on mute or turned off, obviously).
Great, meet this friend either in person or on video and ask them “Why are we friends?” - this is not an easy exercise and you have to be a bit firm because chances are high that they will answer with something along the lines of “I don’t know” or give you a standard answer like “Because you’re smart, funny etc.” You need to dig deeper and tell them that “This is the definition of close friend BUT what is it about me that makes me special” and they will think hard and you might have to dig again and then a bit more but with asking and digging they will eventually stop to describe you but themselves. They will maybe say “You inspire me without even talking to me” or “I love that I can turn to you whenever I feel lost in my life” so what your friends are doing is describing the real value you have in their life and BOOM this value is your WHY.
Do this exercise with several friends and you will get similar answers if not the same and this will get you closer to knowing your WHY. Careful though - do not ask them what they think your WHY is or what you should do with life. You want them to shed some light on your patterns. You can always ask them what they think gets you most excited in your life and at work or where they see your strengths. At the end of the day, remember, only you can find your WHY.
Once you have your WHY, you will be able to understand what drives you when you are performing your best and you will know what makes you feel fulfilled. If you know your WHY the choices you make around your life become intentional. You will inspire others.
If you look at all the great business leaders they have one thing in common - they know their WHY and make decisions based on it.
To be a teacher. And to be known for inspiring my students to be more than they thought they could be.
Oprah Winfrey
To have fun in my journey through life and learn from my mistakes.
Richard Branson
Why do I tell people to start with their WHY before they jump right into starting a business or working on their own brand? Because you need to know first who you are and what you actually stand for. You need to know if your WHY aligns with your life plans and work. Of course finding your WHY takes time and I am not saying that you should wait until you have your finite WHY but you should at least have a wireframe of your WHY, passion, mission and vision that you can come back to and revise once in a while.
Again, don’t mistake your WHAT with your WHY and to put things into perspective - People don’t buy WHAT from the things you do, they buy WHY you do it.
Another way to get started with your WHY is to look into the most common areas of your life:
Values
Your values are your personal code of conduct. Your core beliefs that guide your actions and your interactions with the world.
Passions
Your passions are your interests that constantly leave you wanting to learn and do more in that field. You might even be considered somewhat of an “expert” in your personal or professional circle.
Motivations
Your motivations are the things that get you excited to get out of bed or to work. They are the actions that you enjoy and make you feel satisfied.
Strengths
Your strengths are your talents, soft and hard skills and generally life skills. They are your natural tendencies for work. Look at tasks that come easy to you.
One last great exercise is to track your most recurring thoughts in a journal - and I am not talking about what’s for dinner or if Carole Baskin from Tiger King killed her husband BUT stuff that you care and can’t stop thinking about and this also helps you become more self-aware.
And if you’re feeling completely stuck in finding your WHY, write down the things that spark joy in your life, try different new things, find what makes your heart race and help others.
Final takeaways:
Finding your why is a journey and takes time, so don’t rush yourself
Everyone’s WHY is hidden in a different place and can be uncovered in various ways, not just through the examples I mentioned here
Look at your formative experiences and figure out the themes, and which ones were significant. Then distill that into your WHY
Before you rush into starting a new hustle, applying for a new job or with your online portfolio think about your WHY
We live in a world that doesn’t start with WHY so I hope that I today I gave you the nudge to get started with your WHY in case you haven’t already.
PS: in case you wondered how often I mentioned WHY (and I admit I need a break after this post from WHY WHY WHY and sorry if you do too haha) - the word count says 49 times.
Thanks for joining my first podcast episode with The Belinda Esterhammer Show. Shoutout to my friend Regina Larko who taught me everything there is to know about the art of podcasting and if you’re keen to start your own podcast or if you’re passionate about social impact head over to #impact - I’m also a co-host will be featured in Season 5 around the Sustainable Development Goals.
Join me every Friday where I will share my thoughts, tips, hacks and generally anything you can imagine around life, business, marketing and my world. You can listen, find, download, share and worship this podcast anywhere you can find podcasts and if you feel the urge to get in touch with me drop me a message!
And in case you wondered why this podcast is about the art of winging it, it’s because I’m winging right now.